Old FoolsFacebook Logo Twitter Logo

Over the years we've posted April Fools. They're all nonsense, but they may raise a smile.

Nicosia 01-04-13

Cyprus based Russian Billionaire Simoniz Troyski today announced that he had successfully bid for the entire share capital of Southern Locomotives Ltd. Speaking from his hilltop lair near Dartford he spoke of his plans for the company. "For too long the company has devoted its effort to recreating the obsolete technology of the 1940's. Under my Leadership we will create new Leaders, and rather than naming them after airfields and men of the past we will pick names which will inspire today's travellers."

Willie Bath   Ron Bennett

Troyski (far right, literally) and his henchmen inspect a new revenue protection device

First glimpse of SLL's new fleet of 21st Century motive power.

Troyski's spokesman Nicolai Tomski added, "Commuters in North Kent can look forward to being hauled by trains named after great leaders of recent times, such as Stalin, Gaddafi and Willie Bath. Let's face it, the service couldn't be any worse."


1st April 2017

SLL articulates new loco strategy

Chairman Simon Troy today announced that SLL has entered new territory with an exciting project for a series of new-build articulated locomotives. The project - codename 'Donald' - has been progressing within Herston works for some months and the cab section is already available.

New Leader in Steam Technology

"Having restored six Bulleid Pacifics we now aim to be the New Leader in steam technology", said Troy, "We are sure that Donald will trump all the other new-build projects". Visitors to the Strictly Bulleid gala in Swanage will be able to inspect the new cab unit at Herston Works over the weekend from 10:00 - 14:00 on Saturday and Sunday.

34072 34072

The cab section of the new loco is now complete and is on display to visitors at Herston Works during the Strictly Bulleid gala.

An artist's impression of how 'Donald' will look in service. Other members of the class may be named Theresa, Nicola and Gareth.

"I will not be bulleid", insists Troy

"When Donald has completed trials we will roll out several more such locos", Troy added, "But I will not be bulleid into revealing their names at this time." After the announcement Troy said that what he wanted most was a Double Decker, though this may have been a reference to his favourite chocolate bar.


1st April 2020

SLL and South West Water in alternative fuel breakthrough

34010 34010

Heritage railways concerned about the availability and use of coal in future years will be intrigued by today's announcement from SLL and South West Water. After a year of intensive research SLL and SWW have agreed to convert Bulleid Pacific 34010 Sidmouth to use a fuel taken from beneath the streets of the town. During the 2019 SWW extracted almost 400 tons of energy rich material in Sidmouth. This has a high level of oil, fat, and stuff you don't even want to think about, with a calorific value even greater than Blisworth B coal, much used in BR steam days.

34053

Huge deposits of this fuel can be found under the streets of East Devon, and many other parts of the country.


As part of the multi-million pound deal, the loco's tender will be fitted with a high pressure tank holding the fuel. The cab will be fitted with a large fan to keep the crew cool, though it's hoped that this fuel never hits the fan.

34010

34010 looks good on its test firing with the new fuel, which should make a major contribution to the environment.

SLL Supremo, Simon Troy, said, "I don't know about the technology being revolutionary, but it certainly smells good". He added, "Would you like a share application form?"

An SWW spokesman said that SLL were initially reluctant to rename the loco The Flying Fatberg, but had agreed when offered a fat cheque.



1st April 2024

Bulleid Baltic project solves head shunt and turntable issues on heritage lines.

34070

A genuine outline of a possible Bulleid Baltic tank loco circa 1947 with air-smoothed casing. Note the boiler pressure and oil firing.

34070 Manston was removed from Swanage Railway earlier this year and was reported as moving to the Mid Hants Railway. In fact the low loader carrying Manston travelled only as far as Herston works and the loco was set on a short length of track behind the workshop. To keep this project away from the media videos showing it to be running at the MHR were generated by AI. For the last six weeks all SLL's resources were focused on converting the loco to a 4-6-4 Baltic tank locomotive, the design being based on an early plan from the Leader project, which subsequently used the well-known 0-6-6-0T configuration.

34010

Proof that Manston was fitted with the bunker from 80104 and the rear bogie from Sidmouth.

An SLL spokesman explained that the Baltic tank was shorter than the tender form. It uses the front bogie of Sidmouth to replace the Bissel truck and the coal bunker from Standard Class 4MT loco 80104 currently being overhauled at Tyseley. As a Baltic tank it addresses head-shunt limitations at some heritage railways, and those without turntables. It also provides a tender for 34010 Sidmouth which SLL are currently restoring. The Baltic tank's first test run was yesterday evening and is seen here running round at Swanage station. It still carries 34070's number and name plates, however a new name will be unveiled during the Strictly Bulleid Two gala in June. No final decision on the new name has been made, and suggestions from enthusiasts are welcome.

[Note This Facebook post nearly broke the internet with over 80,000 views, 100 Comments, and over 1,000 'likes'. It earned our Facebook page an additional 100 followers and sparked a discussion as to the viability of a tank loco based on a Bulleid Pacific, narrowly averting plans for another New Build.]